If you enter any sort of recovery space, whether through therapy, peer support or self-inquiry, you usually run into a lot of platitudes. Overused, overly simplistic, earnestly offered when there is nothing else to say (maybe you’ve run out of words, or the other person is tired of listening). Infographics and short-form content has accelerated the platitude economy, things like ‘time heals all wounds’, ‘look on the bright side’ and ‘what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger’ have contemporary cousins - ‘it’s ok not to be ok’, ‘it is what it is’, and ‘put yourself first’. Like any statement that we’ve heard a thousand times, or any neat and tidy response to a messy feeling - they become invisible to us, or leave us bristling.
My other main issue with platitudes is that they are things to say, not things to do. I’ve written at length about how pause is an action and ‘if in doubt do nowt’, but I am also an overthinker and ruminator. I often need a necessary action to get me out of my head and into my life, and not words to describe my situation. It’s not just for or about me - ‘Let me know if you need anything’ has become a platitude, and usually our first port of call when trying to comfort someone, usually someone who won’t feel comfortable asking for what they need or may not even know what that is.
Platitudes lose their meaning in many ways. They are generic, sometimes weaponised, they can flatten issues and be used in the wrong context, or put in place as ideals to punish yourself for having a human emotion. But platitudes have also changed my life - ‘one day at a time’ and ‘keep it simple’ were often the only sure thing I could depend on in my early recovery. I am going to write neither in praise nor defence of platitudes, but I am going to make a case for simple wisdom, and how to use it, without the packaging, misuse and overuse that has rendered platitudes grating.