100 things to support your mental health that aren't go for a walk and drink more water
with all due respect to going for a walk and drinking water
Have you taken your hot-girl walk today? I haven’t, it’s February, and if I get told to go for a walk and drink more water one more time I swear to the ever-living god that I will throw my phone into the sea. Then I’ll probably go on a walk, because, frustratingly, I know it will help my mood. I’m also pretty dehydrated, truth be told, even though my water-bottle has encouraging sentiments next to times of day written down the side of it and I thought that was enough to fix me.
Most good ideas are simple, taking care of your mental health is hard. Well meaning suggestions can be the thing that changes everything, but seem like suggesting a teaspoon of water for the house-fire that is your body, your brain, your room, the planet. They can feel like an infographic from 2015 - perhaps relevant once, now trite and overly-earnest. It remains true, however, that complete and absolute fixes are a myth and often a monkey’s paw. A life worth living is made of small, but significant, actions and often putting in a bit more effort than you want to at the present moment. It’s very rare I feel a spontaneous motivation to change, usually I reach a pain threshold and have to act better than I feel until I feel better. However often when I do that enough, the action becomes routine and, on the good days, really enjoyable.
Realistically, above a walk and to drink enough water, we need a liveable wage, access to safe housing, healthcare, third places, enough leisure time, safe connections to the people around us and for no one to have their rights as a human threatened based on who they are. There is no amount of self-care that will displace that. However, I do believe that another world is possible and I have my role in it - to perform that, I cannot go under. Taking care of ourselves is the beginning, part of a flow, a necessary step to do our work well. Sometimes it’s that sentiment that carries me through it - in singing we don’t focus on the high-note, we drive our energy to the end of the phrase, and the challenging part is part of the topography with something coming after it. Thinking of the high-note as simply one more step along the way can stop it from being the Everest that dominates your mind, throwing everything else into an imbalance for fear and aversion towards it.
Everyone has a different Everest. You might be able to read a 300 page book in about two hours, but require the mental fortitude of a gladiator to reply to an email. Public speaking may not phase you, but public existing with no lines or script comes less easily. You can run ten miles but not go for a shower. You can find the difference between your no and your yes, and use them both appropriately, in all situations but one. We can exhaust, deplete and punish ourselves, but not go on that stupid fucking walk. So I am hoping 100 things will at least contain one useful or appealing thing for anyone reading, and I am suggesting them not as someone who has it all worked out - I am simply another person with a checkered mental health history, who occasionally feels peace of mind and a desire to live now, who wants to be there for the people who need me right now.
Find the window of grace where something inside says ‘e n o u g h’ and the kick inside wants to do something about it. Allow it, rather than simply wait for it, and go.
Things that don’t require money.
Open your windows. Nothing smells better than fresh air.
Wash your face, brush your teeth or chew gum, put your fingers or a brush through your hair. Say something positive about yourself that you believe.
Put on a song and let it move you, emotionally or physically.
Do four different stretches.
Look at your room from a different angle, move or tidy something.
Write a poem, letter, diary entry - just for you.
Pray or turn your attention towards something you either do or don’t believe in, meditate even if it’s for a minute, take a shower.
Read about something that fascinates you.
Seek information about someone who inspires you.
Put a post-it on your computer with something you need to read. Change it regularly, so it doesn’t become invisible to you.
Do a breathwork routine here's one I made
Look up distress tolerance skills and practice one.
Look up grounding techniques and practice one.
Sing, unaccompanied, playing along with an instrument, put a karaoke backing track on from YouTube, make up a melody, scream - whatever singing is for you today.
Call someone, on the phone, in real time. Have a spontaneous conversation and be present for it.
Join your local library and go.
Look at beauty - art, flowers, science, pictures of aurora borealis, someone you love, and consider how you’re a part of all this.
Put on an outfit that reminds you who you are and takes a tiny bit more effort.
Send someone an unprompted compliment or sincere appreciation for their presence here.
If you don’t have a cold today, breathe through your nose and remind yourself how good it feels.
If you have a cold, get some vaporub.
Say ‘this is nice’ out loud when you feel a good sensation.
Say ‘this is beautiful’ when you see something beautiful.
Imagine if everything around you was taken away from you tomorrow, write a gratitude list.
Actively appreciate something on that list.
Read the community noticeboard at your local cafe, see if there’s anything you want to get involved in.
Do an online exercise routine.
Unfollow things you hatefollow, ragefollow, envyfollow or sadfollow.
Make a photo-album on your phone of memories that are safe harbours.
Act on your anger, not in anger, sign a petition, find a protest, send an email.
With a balance of compassion and discipline, truly ask yourself how you are contributing to your suffering, without using judgement words. Forgive yourself, make some action items. You are a human being worthy of dignity and respect, most of all from yourself. Don’t overwhelm yourself and keep it simple. Exercise that muscle.
Things that require time.
Cook for yourself, something time-intensive and meaningful to you. Savour the process.
Put your phone on airplane mode for an hour.
Donate or sell any clothes that don’t fit you anymore.
Take a bath, be in water.
Take care of something that isn’t yourself. Genuinely tending to something with care can get you out of your head. A plant, pet or person - nourish them without undercutting yourself.
Start doing morning pages
Bake something, share it with a friend or neighbour.
Watch a candle burn, focus on the flame, let everything else fall away.
Learn a skill from YouTube.
Clean your house, get in the edges, the windows, the extractor fan, the cupboard that the pots and pans go in. Go deep.
Fix anything that requires mending, clothes, pot and pan handles, rickety shoe-rails.
Take care of the chaos corner (we all have one).
Cut up magazines with colours, shapes and textures you like, stick them in a notebook and have it somewhere you can see.
Write about how angry/sad you are until you don’t feel angry or sad anymore. If you still feel angry and sad, seek someone to talk to about it for a different perspective. I usually tire myself out of an emotion once I’ve exhausted it and shared it with a safe person who will validate its presence and encourage its movement.
Take a look at your schedule, see what needs to be changed, or can be changed.
Clear out a drawer, arrange the cables.
Things that require money.
Get an air purifier.
Go to a class in your area, gym, painting, life-drawing, poetry.
Watch the movie you keep meaning to watch.
Get a massage, then do something with your body.
If you buy the cheapest version of everything as a reflex, get the second cheapest, and enjoy it.
Donate to a cause.
Go to a pottery class, put all your attention into one place, get your hands dirty.
Do a big fucking puzzle. Same thing.
Go to a sauna.
Go to an osteopath, get some tips on if you need to be doing certain exercises based on your lifestyle.
If you work from home, go to a co-working space or cafe instead.
Start taking vitamins.
Fabric softener.
Get organisers for your cleaning products, stationary, kitchenware and bedding.
Get matching glasses, throw out pint glasses you stole from pubs in your twenties.
Get a better chair to work from.
Get the bedding you always wanted, even better yet, a mattress or mattress protector.
Buy something in your favourite colour.
Get an analogue alarm clock so the first thing you see in the morning isn’t your phone.
Research modalities of therapy and find one that works for you, IFS, EMDR, psychodynamic, CBT, DBT, etc. The type of therapy is very important, I stuck to psychodynamic for years before I realised I needed IFS, I struggled with CBT for a decade before I discovered DBT. Don’t get too obsessed, but consider it and how it could be useful to you.
Buy flowers or a posh coffee, treat yourself like a date.
Things that require structure.
Wind your day down at 10pm, be in bed by 11pm, or find your version of this that works for you.
Do three things in the morning that work for you to set your day up. Do it again the next day.
Take your make-up off every night. Brush your teeth every night and morning.
Plan a Sunday Reset, to set up your week.
Make a cleaning routine, decide which days you clean which rooms to break it up.
Take all the dirty dishes and mugs out of your room every night, wash them before you go to bed.
Find the time of day that works for you to meditate or similar practice that centres you, commit to it like an appointment.
Move every day, but assign a day for more intense exercise (remembering that intense is relative).
Don’t let the bins overflow.
Charge your devices.
Organise your meals for the week, shop for that, cook them when you can.
Create an office hour to do your admin, so you don’t get overwhelmed by it.
Things that require other people.
Support someone’s show, exhibition, opening night, showcase, gig. Show up for them, encourage their success, let them know their art matters, be a part of it.
Go out dancing.
Join a club.
Research your union.
Meet up with a friend who sees you exactly for who you are.
Politely turn down invitations from people who make you feel like you need to put on a show. Practice kind, neutral and non-punishing ‘thank you, but I am too busy/I don’t have time for that.’
Write a birthday card.
Tell someone you’re struggling and find the area you can help each other with.
Enjoy a childhood activity with a friend.
Ask someone about what they’re interested in, listen to them infodump, share yours.
Perform a ritual.
Find a third space, exist.
Go to a meeting.
Show someone something you’re working on right now, for feedback or simply to share.
Read the same book as someone and share your thoughts.
Actually see the band, play or musical you really want to see.
Play with someone’s dog, cat or child. Observe their innocence.
Things that require travel
Look at the sea.
Find a forest.
Ok, fine, go for a walk.
all my love,
loz xoxo
On patreon this month I am continuing my my trauma informed singing course, where I use my skills as a singer, teacher and researcher into trauma’s effect on the voice to upload weekly lessons which encourage creative release, safety in the body and confidence in your musicianship. It is a mixture of breath work, body work and singing exercises to unlock, release and nurture your voice for self expression and self-experience. We ease open the places we are holding onto something that is no longer helping, and seeing how it feels when we let the voice rush through. On Patreon we can discuss your goals, and you access every weekly uploaded lesson and the entire catalogue of every lesson that has been uploaded so far. The lessons are half an hour long and are taken at a gentle pace, appropriate for beginners and people with experience who want a more breath orientated way of singing, and most of all they are loving little devotions to your body and your creativity.
https://www.patreon.com/brutalrecovery
You can also purchase a package of these lessons, and try one out, here: https://www.laurenmcquistin.com/teaching-research
What you will receive is:
My article about trauma's effect on the singing voice.
A youtube playlist with the 35 lessons (you can take at your own pace, I recommend doing one a week and then practising what's learned in the week to let the nutrients soak in, but you can absolutely take as quickly or as slowly as you like, they are half an hour each, and work slowly and gently from a basics!)
A track with the vocal warm ups.
A track with the breathwork exercises.
A glossary of terms.
Going for a walk is number 1 ! After 40 years sobriety, my opinion has real basis, my friend. Number 2 - a dog is man’s best friend, always ready for a long walk in the park, go for it! Happy healing my friends.
Thank you for sharing this. It was just what I needed today. My favorite phrase: act better than I feel until I feel better. A new mantra. 😊